she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
