I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
