I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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