No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
