i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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