did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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