I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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