Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
