One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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