god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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