Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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