So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
