my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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