its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The power of my boobs compel you
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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