i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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