Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
