my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
