Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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