Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
