yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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