when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
