I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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