We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
