My brain says no but my pants say off.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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