fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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