I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
