I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official drugs can't kill me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
