is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
