It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
