i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
