Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
