He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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