Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
