my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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