"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize