He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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