Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if only i could text you this smell
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
