I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
