dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This house was built for laser tag.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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