Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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