Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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