There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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