they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
