yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
