We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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