I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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