i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
