We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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