dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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