my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my shit smells like andre
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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