im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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