she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
