Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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