so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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