Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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