Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
