Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
