She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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