i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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