OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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