thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
