somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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