He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm too high and old for this...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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