if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize