Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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