making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
