Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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