I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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