belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
