Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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