i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
